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Archive for the ‘Reflection’ Category

music

breath-catching

uplifting & magical in every way

what would the world be without music?

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Lines Written in Early Spring by William Wordsworth

I heard a thousand blended notes,
While in a grove I sate reclined,
In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts
Bring sad thoughts to the mind.

To her fair works did Nature link
The human soul that through me ran;
And much it grieved my heart to think
What man has made of man.

Through primrose tufts, in that green bower,
The periwinkle trailed its wreaths;
And ’tis my faith that every flower
Enjoys the air it breathes.

The birds around me hopped and played,
Their thoughts I cannot measure: —
But the least motion which they made,
It seemed a thrill of pleasure.

The budding twigs spread out their fan,
To catch the breezy air;
And I must think, do all I can,
That there was pleasure there.

If this belief from heaven be sent,
If such be Nature’s holy plan,
Have I not reason to lament
What man has made of man?

reflective poem (:

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Dec 2008

1 more week to the end of 2008.  It has been one of the most eventful Decembers spent in Singapore.

2008 has been so full of different experiences & lessons. I hope I’ve grown much from it & at times, i can’t help but wonder what exactly is the purpose behind certain experiences. It’s as though i’m finally growing up into an adult gradually – working for the first time in my life (juggling a 9-to-5 job & 3 tuition assignments & rcia); going for weekday masses more frequently; being part of a Catholic community (on campus) for the first time; not wearing a uniform for the first time in my life; AND staying on my own (or rather, with a friend) away from home; not relying on my dad always; joining RCIA for half a year; going for one TM class & ending up in an accident haha; organising a retreat & so, so much more.

One prominent thing about 2008 is Independence. I like that word.

Through the hardships faced (when away from home), I’ve learnt tenacity & independence.
From the occasional happiness that i was blest with (in times of trouble), I’ve learnt how God dots the black, cloudy skies with glimpses of light & hope.
From the hardships, joys, happiness, hurt, challenges & everything in 2008, I’ve come to realise that I can never understand what God’s plan is for my life until years later when it pleases Him to reveal it to me; and from the realisation that i’m unable to control alot of things, comes humility.

When u just get so tired of all the unpleasant things that slam in yr face & it suddenly dawns on u “what a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer”, u just have this great desire to drop everything at the foot of the Cross & pray for Him to resolve it somehow in His Wisdom.

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friends

it has been a trying period these recent 2 plus wks. at times, it got so bad that i felt like i was drowning…but my good friends, esp one of them who could really empathise with me, sustained me. Most, in fact almost all, of my close friends are introverts. In times like these, when true friends stand by you to support you, the friendship goes on to a deeper level. & i really am so thankful to God for giving me these special people (or person) to encourage & assure & just be there for me. The peak of the difficult period has past (i think & i so dearly hope so!) but isn’t over yet.

God has been so gracious & patient. It’s a long journey and everyday i’m hoping more and more to reach the end soon. 50 years more or less.

anyway, a new life awaits me in august =) next mth, i’ll prepare for the new beginning – new opportunities & exciting experiences & of course, the most impt & what i’m really looking forward to, is forming new friendships. the really deep ones. just 2 or 3 is sufficient, like in JC =)

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pieces of thoughts…

Ah, it’s slightly over seven in the evening now, going for RCIA soon. It’ll be the fourth meeting. I don’t know why, but I am kind of counting down to the end of the process. My prayers regarding this ministry haven’t been answered, so sometimes i’m a bit hesitant about it still…Today i’ll have to choose which ministry (within this ministry) to join, thinking of Prayer or Finance. Admin doesn’t seem to need more people, so maybe prayer would be good.

Something(s) at work has(have) been bugging me lately. Hmph. But that issue isn’t that worrying…Anyway the calls have been increasing but the nature of the calls are seemingly, and thankfully, easier. My rubber band in my braces “Switzerland” broke today while i was speaking to a sup.! oh my, so embarrassing! Eating out these six weeks would be quite a chore. haha. but not too worried about it still.

I’m giving quite some thought to my future. Frankly, 18 isn’t a nice age – a period of changes. Yesterday, I was discharged from the paediatrician ‘cos i’m too old already. I was really so super sad when the doc. shook my hand and said “All the Best”. Farewell scenes are the worst! Be it graduation, leaving a doc, leaving a dentist, leaving a country after a tour, moving house, or bidding farewell to a loved one as they move into the next realm – farewell scenes are just….! i walked through kk- the shops, the clinics, the pharmacy, the x-ray centre – and the past 10+ years of experience just flooded through my mind in torrents. Felt quite overwhelmed for that 15 minutes or so. Took the shuttle bus, went to church, calmed down a bit, then carried on with tuition. (As i was writing the above, the thoughts begun flooding my mind again.) How true is this sentence that was shown in last week’s RCIA presentation: People can’t wait to grow up, but when they grow up, they long to be young again.

Oh well, enough emo-ing. Life goes on. Although we can’t grab hold of fleeting moments of happiness or joy or some special moments, we can cherish them in our hearts 🙂

Time for RCIA =)

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24-hour inactivity

http://www.sedevacantist.com/misc/temperaments.html

 CHAPTER IV

THE MELANCHOLIC TEMPERAMENT

  1. CHARACTERISTICS OF THE MELANCHOLIC TEMPERAMENT

The melancholic person is but feebly excited by whatever acts upon him. The reaction is weak, but this feeble impression remains for a long time and by subsequent similar impressions grows stronger and at last excites the mind so vehemently that it is difficult to eradicate it.

Such impression may be compared to a post, which by repeated strokes is driven deeper and deeper into the ground, so that at last it is hardly possible to pull it out again. This propensity of the melancholic needs special attention. It serves as a key to solve the many riddles in his behavior.II        FUNDAMENTAL DISPOSITION OF THE MELANCHOLIC

1. Inclination to reflection. The thinking of the melancholic easily turns into reflection. The thoughts of the melancholic are far reaching. He dwells with pleasure upon the past and is preoccupied by occurrences of the long ago; he is penetrating; is not satisfied with the superficial, searches for the cause and correlation of things; seeks the laws which affect human life, the principles according to which man should act. His thoughts are of a wide range; he looks ahead into the future; ascends to the eternal. The melancholic is of an extremely soft-hearted disposition. His very thoughts arouse his own sympathy and are accompanied by a mysterious longing. Often they stir him up profoundly, particularly religious reflections or plans which he cherishes; yet he hardly permits his fierce excitement to be noticed outwardly. The untrained melancholic is easily given to brooding and to day-dreaming.

2. Love of retirement. The melancholic does not feel at home among a crowd for any length of time; he loves silence and solitude. Being inclined to introspection he secludes himself from the crowds, forgets his environment, and makes poor use of his senses — eyes, ears, etc. In company he is often distracted, because he is absorbed by his own thoughts. By reason of his lack of observation and his dreaming the melancholic person has many a mishap in his daily life and at his work.

3. Serious conception of life. The melancholic looks at life always from the serious side. (Me: Yea, life isn’t a game, like what many people believe it to be so, saying that we should take things with a pinch of salt.) At the core of his heart there is always a certain sadness, ‘a weeping of the heart,’ not because the melancholic is sick or morbid, as many claim, but because he is permeated with a strong longing for an ultimate good (God) and eternity, and feels continually hampered by earthly and temporal affairs and impeded in his cravings. The melancholic is a stranger here below and feels homesick for God and eternity.

4. Inclination to passivity. The melancholic is a passive temperament. The person possessing such a temperament, therefore, has not the vivacious, quick, progressive, active propensity, of the choleric or sanguine, but is slow, pensive, reflective. It is difficult to move him to quick action, since he has a marked inclination to passivity and inactivity. This pensive propensity of the melancholic accounts for his fear of suffering and difficulties as well as for his dread of interior exertion and self-denial.III        PECULIARITIES OF THE MELANCHOLIC 

1. He is reserved. He finds it difficult to form new acquaintances and speaks little among strangers. He reveals his inmost thoughts reluctantly and only to those whom he trusts. He does not easily find the right word to express and describe his sentiments. He yearns often to express himself, because it affords him real relief, to confide the sad, depressing thoughts which burden his heart to a person who sympathizes with him. (Me: That’s the reason why I hope and pray for God to put someone in my life here on Earth, who will always, always me there for me for life and not get sick of hearing all these sad things. Many thoughts that I keep inside can get really burdening. Sometimes, I get tired of putting up a front everyday to be happy.) On the other hand, it requires great exertion on his part to manifest himself, and, when he does so, he goes about it so awkwardly that he does not feel satisfied and finds no rest. Such experiences tend to make the melancholic more reserved. A teacher of melancholic pupils, therefore, must he aware of these peculiarities and must take them into consideration; otherwise he will do a great deal of harm to his charges.

Confession is a great burden to the melancholic, while it is comparatively easy to the sanguine. The melancholic wants to manifest himself, but cannot; the choleric can express himself easily, but does not want to.

2. The melancholic is irresolute. On account of too many considerations and too much fear of difficulties and of the possibility that his plans or works may fail, the melancholic can hardly reach a decision. He is inclined to defer his decision. What he could do today he postpones for tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, or even for the next week. Then he forgets about it and thus it happens that what he could have done in an hour takes weeks and months. He is never finished. For many a melancholic person it may take a long time to decide about his vocation to the religious life. The melancholic is a man of missed opportunities. While he sees that others have crossed the creek long ago, he still deliberates whether he too should and can jump over it. Because the melancholic discovers many ways by his reflection and has difficulties in deciding which one to take, he easily gives way to others, and does not stubbornly insist on his own opinion.

3. The melancholic is despondent and without courage. He is pusillanimous and timid if he is called upon to begin a new work, to execute a disagreeable task, to venture on a new undertaking. He has a strong will coupled with talent and power, but no courage. It has become proverbial therefore: “Throw the melancholic into the water and he will learn to swim.” If difficulties in his undertakings are encountered by the melancholic, even if they are only very insignificant, he feels discouraged and is tempted to give up the ship, instead of conquering the obstacle and repairing the ill success by increased effort.

4. The melancholic is slow and awkward.
a) He is slow in his thinking. He feels it necessary, first of all, to consider and reconsider everything until he can form a calm and safe judgment.

b) He is slow in his speech. If he is called upon to answer quickly or to speak without preparation, or if he fears that too much depends on his answer, he becomes restless and does not find the right word and consequently often makes a false and unsatisfactory reply. (Me: I’ve never failed to embarrass and humiliate myself on everyr occasion when I’d to do imprormptu speeches or even normal speeches. I totally detest that but because I’m living in this world, I’ve to force myself to go for Toastmasters. Sometimes I feel life would be so much easier if i was born with a diff personality type which doesn’t require me to make so many changes. Because each of these changes require so much effort that it intidimates me.) This slow thinking may be the reason why the melancholic often stutters, leaves his sentences incomplete, uses wrong phrases, or searches for the right expression. He is also slow, not lazy, at his work. He works carefully and reliably, but only if he has ample time and is not pressed. He himself naturally does not believe that he is a slow worker.

5. The pride of the melancholic has its very peculiar side. He does not seek honor or recognition; on the contrary, he is loathe to appear in public and to be praised. But he is very much afraid of disgrace and humiliation. (Me: I’m extremely self-conscious, which again is something that I’ve to change.) He often displays great reserve and thereby gives the impression of modesty and humility; in reality he retires only because he is afraid of being put to shame. He allows others to be preferred to him, even if they are less qualified and capable than himself for the particular work, position, or office, but at the same time he feels slighted because he is being ignored and his talents are not appreciated.

The melancholic person, if he really wishes to become perfect, must pay very close attention to these feelings of resentment and excessive sensitiveness in the face of even small humiliations. (Me: which again, needs to be changed. What a huge load of effort. I think before I may not even be able to accomplish all the numerous changes before I leave Earth.)

From what has been said so far, it is evident that it is difficult to deal with melancholic persons. Because of their peculiarities they are frequently misjudged and treated wrongly. The melancholic feels keenly and therefore retires and secludes himself. Also, the melancholic has few friends, because few understand him and because he takes few into his confidence. (Me: So this explains it. Ah, I’ve finally found what I was looking for since yesterday.)

IV        BRIGHT SIDE OF THE MELANCHOLIC TEMPERAMENT

1. The melancholic practices with ease and joy interior prayer. His serious view of life, his love of solitude, and his inclination to reflection are a great help to him in acquiring the interior life of prayer. He has, as it were, a natural inclination to piety. Meditating on the perishable things of this world he thinks of the eternal; sojourning on earth he is attracted to Heaven. Many saints were of a melancholic temperament. This temperament causes difficulties at prayer, since the melancholic person easily loses courage in trials and sufferings and consequently lacks confidence in God, in his prayers, and can be very much distracted by pusillanimous and sad thoughts.

2. In communication with God the melancholic finds a deep and indescribable peace.

He, better than anyone else, understands the words of St. Augustine: “Thee, O Lord, have created us for yourself, and our heart finds no rest, until it rests in Thee.” His heart, so capable of strong affections and lofty sentiments, finds perfect peace in communion with God. This peace of heart he also feels in his sufferings, if he only preserves his confidence in God and his love for the Crucified.
(Me: Jesus has given me hope for everyday. Truly, without my faith, I would still be living in those periods of darkness.)

3. The melancholic is often a great benefactor to his fellow men. He guides others to God, is a good counselor in difficulties, and a prudent, trustworthy, and well-meaning superior. He has great sympathy with his fellow men and a keen desire to help them. If the confidence in God supports the melancholic and encourages him to action, he is willing to make great sacrifices for his neighbor and is strong and unshakable in the battle for ideals. Schubert, in his Psychology, says of the melancholic nature: “It has been the prevailing mental disposition of the most sublime poets, artists, of the most profound thinkers, the greatest inventors, legislators, and especially of those spiritual giants who at their time made known to their nations the entrance to a higher and blissful world of the Divine, to which they themselves were carried by an insatiable longing.V        DARK SIDE OF THE MELANCHOLIC TEMPERAMENT

1. The melancholic by committing sin falls into the most terrible distress of mind, because in the depth of his heart he is, more than those of other temperaments, filled with a longing desire for God, with a keen perception of the malice and consequences of sin. The consciousness of being separated from God by mortal sin has a crushing effect upon him. If he falls into grievous sin, it is hard for him to rise again, because confession, in which he is bound to humiliate himself deeply, is so hard for him. He is also in great danger of falling back into sin; because by his continual brooding over the sins committed he causes new temptations to arise. When tempted he indulges in sentimental moods, thus increasing the danger and the strength of temptations. To remain in a state of sin or even occasionally to relapse into sin may cause him a profound and lasting sadness, and rob him gradually of confidence in God and in himself. He says to himself: “I have not the strength to rise again and God does not help me either by His grace, for He does not love me but wants to damn me.” This fatal condition can easily assume the proportion of despair. (Me: this explains the perpetual sinfulness in me. Always repeating the same sins. followed by guilt. vicious cycle.)

2. A melancholic person who has no confidence in God and love for the Cross falls into great despondency, inactivity, and even into despair.

If he has confidence in God and love for the Crucified, he is led to God and sanctified more quickly by suffering mishaps, calumniation, unfair treatment, etc. But if these two virtues are lacking, his condition is very dangerous and pitiable. If sufferings, although little in themselves, befall him, the melancholic person, who has no confidence in God and love for Christ, becomes downcast and depressed, ill-humored and sensitive. He does not speak, or he speaks very little, is peevish and disconsolate and keeps apart from his fellow men. Soon he loses courage to continue his work, and interest even in his professional occupation.

He feels that he has nothing but sorrow and grief. Finally this disposition may culminate in actual despondency and despair. (Me: extremely accurate. Whenever i stop praying or disconnect from God, I become “liveless”, very easiliy iritable (= peevish) and disconsolate)

3. The melancholic who gives way to sad moods, falls into many faults against charity and becomes a real burden to his fellow men. (Me: yea, sometimes I really think people dislike me because I’m so depressing always and thus an utter burden. Who likes such depressing people anyway?)

a) He easily loses confidence in his fellow men, (especially Superiors, Confessors), because of slight defects which he discovers in them, or on account of corrections in small matters.

b) He is vehemently exasperated and provoked by disorder or injustice. The cause of his exasperation is often justifiable, but rarely to the degree felt.

c) He can hardly forgive offences. The first offense he ignores quite easily. But renewed offenses penetrate deeply into the soul and can hardly be forgotten. Strong aversion easily takes root in his heart against persons from whom he has suffered, or in whom he finds this or that fault. This aversion becomes so strong that he can hardly see these persons without new excitement, that he does not want to speak to them and is exasperated by the very thought of them. Usually this aversion is abandoned only after the melancholic is separated from persons who incurred his displeasure and at times only after months or even years.


d) He is very suspicious. He rarely trusts people and is always afraid that others have a grudge against him. Thus he often and without cause entertains uncharitable and unjust suspicion about his neighbor, conjectures evil intentions, and fears dangers which do not exist at all.

e) He sees everything from the dark side. He is peevish, always draws attention to the serious side of affairs, complains regularly about the perversion of people, bad times, downfall of morals, etc. His motto is: things grow worse all along. Offenses, mishaps, obstacles he always considers much worse than they really are. The consequence is often excessive sadness, unfounded vexation about others, brooding for weeks and weeks on account of real or imaginary insults. Melancholic persons who give way to this disposition to look at everything through a dark glass, gradually become pessimists, that is, persons who always expect a bad result; hypochondriacs, that is, persons who complain continually of insignificant ailments and constantly fear grave sickness; misanthropes, that is, persons who suffer from fear and hatred of men.

f) He finds peculiar difficulties in correcting people. As said above he is vehemently excited at the slightest disorder or injustice and feels obliged to correct such disorders, but at the same time he has very little skill or courage in making corrections. He deliberates long on how to express the correction; but when he is about to make it, the words fail him, or he goes about it so carefully, so tenderly and reluctantly that it can hardly be called a correction.

If the melancholic tries to master his timidity, he easily falls into the opposite fault of shouting his correction excitedly, angrily, in unsuited or scolding words, so that again his reproach loses its effect. This difficulty is the besetting cross of melancholic superiors. They are unable to discuss things with others, therefore, they swallow their grief and permit many disorders to creep in, although their conscience recognizes the duty to interfere. Melancholic educators, too, often commit the fault of keeping silent too long about a fault of their charges and when at last they are forced to speak, they do it in such an unfortunate and harsh manner, that the pupils become discouraged and frightened by such admonitions, instead of being encouraged and directed.VI        METHOD OF SELF-TRAINING FOR THE MELANCHOLIC PERSON1. The melancholic must cultivate great confidence in God and love for suffering, for his spiritual and temporal welfare depend on these two virtues. Confidence in God and love of the Crucified are the two pillars on which he will rest so firmly, that he will not succumb to the most severe trials arising from his temperament. The misfortune of the melancholic consists in refusing to carry his cross; his salvation will be found in the voluntary and joyful bearing of that cross. Therefore, he should meditate often on the Providence of God, and the goodness of the Heavenly Father, who sends sufferings only for our spiritual welfare, and he must practice a fervent devotion to the Passion of Christ and His Sorrowful Mother Mary.

2. He should always, especially during attacks of melancholy, say to himself: ”It is not so bad as I imagine. I see things too darkly,” or “I am a pessimist.”

3. He must from the very beginning resist every feeling of aversion, diffidence, discouragement, or despondency, so that these evil impressions can take no root in the soul.

4. He must keep himself continually occupied, so that he finds no time for brooding. Persevering work will master all. (Me: that’s what i’m trying to do now actually..)

5. He is bound to cultivate the good side of his temperament and especially his inclination to interior life and his sympathy for suffering fellow men. He must struggle continually against his weaknesses.

6. St. Theresa devotes an entire chapter to the treatment of malicious melancholics. She writes: “Upon close observation you will notice that melancholic persons are especially inclined to have their own way, to say everything that comes into their mind, to watch for the faults of others in order to hide their own and to find peace in that which is according to their own liking.” St. Theresa, in this chapter touches upon two points to which the melancholic person must pay special attention. He frequently is much excited, full of disgust and bitterness, because he occupies himself too much with the faults of others, and again because he would like to have everything according to his own will and notion.

He can get into bad humor and discouragement on account of the most insignificant things. If he feels very downcast he should ask himself whether he concerned himself too much about the faults of others. Let other people have their own way! Or whether perhaps things do not go according to his own will. Let him learn the truth of the words of the Imitation (I, 22), “Who is there that has all things according to his will? Neither I nor you, nor any man on earth. There is no man in the world without some trouble or affliction be he king or pope. Who then is the best off? Truly he that is able to suffer something for the love of God.”VII        IMPORTANT POINTS IN THE TRAINING OF THE MELANCHOLICIn the treatment of the melancholic special attention must be given to the following points:

1. It is necessary to have a sympathetic understanding of the melancholic. In his entire deportment he presents many riddles to those who do not understand the peculiarities of the melancholic temperament. It is necessary, therefore, to study it and at the same time to find out how this temperament manifests itself in each individual. Without this knowledge great mistakes cannot be avoided.

2. It is necessary to gain the confidence of the melancholic person. This is not at all easy and can be done only by giving him a good example in everything and by manifesting an unselfish and sincere love for him. Like an unfolding bud opens to the sun, so the heart of the melancholic person opens to the sunshine of kindness and love.

3. One must always encourage him. Rude reproach, harsh treatment, hardness of heart cast him down and paralyze his efforts. Friendly advice and patience with his slow actions give him courage and vigor. He will show himself very grateful for such kindness.

4. It is well to keep him always busy, but do not overburden him with work.

5. Because melancholics take everything to heart and are very sensitive, they are in great danger of weakening their nerves. It is necessary, therefore, to watch nervous troubles of those entrusted to one’s care. Melancholics who suffer a nervous breakdown are in a very bad state and cannot recover very easily.

6. In the training of a melancholic child, special care must be taken to be always kind and friendly, to encourage and keep him busy. The child, moreover, must be taught always to pronounce words properly, to use his five senses, and to cultivate piety. Special care must be observed in the punishment of the melancholic child, otherwise obstinacy and excessive reserve may result. Necessary punishment must be given with precaution and great kindness and the slightest appearance of injustice must be carefully avoided.

 

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I simply couldn’t concentrate the entire afternoon and evening!! Oh my! I was in a holiday mood, a sort of “switch-off” mode (in other words, inactivated). Well, GP went fine for the first paper (or so i think). But it was quite the opposite for paper 2, the compre. But I don’t feel like talking about it. haha.

anyway, my wandering mind was going through all the conversations i’d after GP in the canteen. Some funny ones =D; some not so nice ones; others, neutral.  Then I kept getting up and out of my seat hourly. (Yes, literally, hourly) and oh ya, thank God for the seat! I was praying so hard for that isolated spot, my heart sank when I saw someone had already occupied that table. But of course God answered my prayer xD the girl was alone, so I could share the table with her. and she and the other two girls who came after she left were all so quiet =) hehe…but then i was thinking of all the stupid random things. Like I can look at my mentos in my pencil case and think of something related that happened in the morning (hehe, it was a funny incident :))

I went to S11 for peanut chocolate pancake! and then I decided to treat myself, give myself a pat on the back for GP (: so I drank chocolate bubble tea after that (: (haha, and i made a fool of myself as I couldn’t understand what the auntie was asking me in mandrin! she spoke too fast lah!)

As I ate my pancake, I gazed at the woman selling pancakes and again, my mind wandered. I looked at her and I wondered how her life is, how she is coping, whether her name is really Jessica as stated in the stall name. I began calculating how many pancakes she must sell to earn how many dollars a day. But of course I don’t know the rent and cost of production so I gave up calculating her salary. Then I wondered if she’d enough to go by everyday, then I saw that her stall is so small, so her rent must be cheaper than the other stalls, and that her pancakes are seemingly popular so she must be earning about 2k. Haha, then I wondered if the helper at her stall was related to her. haha.

After eating, I passed by this table at which there sat a woman, her eyebrows slightly knitted in concentration, praying with her palms clasped facing a steaming bowl of thick white bee hoon or noodles. I was like, wow, here’s a Christian praying with her daughter 🙂 hehe, then i remembered that I didn’t pray before eating my pancake 😉

I walked past a big altar on a longer route to the bubble tea shop (as it was a sudden turn about due to the sudden change in decision to spoil myself just this once). I felt uncomfortable as usual, but repeated the words something like “God is with me” or  “standing in His presence” (can’t remember). Then as I neared the bubble tea shop, I passed by this group of boys outside a gaming shop and I thought why are they wasting their time on this… and I wondered if the bubble tea woman has enough to earn her keep. Following that, I passed by the playground and saw a group of girls and guys (sec sch) playing on a merry-go-round; toddlers playing; mothers by the side, some with prams, chatting animatedly with each other, seemingly about their children. I marvelled at the carefree nature of these children. I thought about the concerns of these young mothers and a thought crossed my mind suddenly if I would be sitting in their places in future.

Finally, upon reaching the CPF building, I decided to sit down by the side. heard a man talking about Taiwan this and that, probably a businessman. Then a cleaner sat next to the pillar next to me. And again, I thought about their lives. I was suddenly at peace. The cold bubble tea in my hands, droplets of water on the cup cooling my hands, the sweet taste going over my tongue and the chewy, munch-able pearls against my gnawing teeth. The chirpping of the birds sealed this peace in my heart for the precious few minutes that I sat there drinking my bubble tea. A view which i always held, was reinforced: 1) The people in our lives are not placed in our lives by mistake. It is planned by God. For a purpose that we will find out. 2) (this is new to me:) Everyone has a unique combination of roles to play in this world. There are no two people who know the same people on an exact level and cater to the needs of the exact people.

Oh, I bought three towels for ms ong, mr tan and ms wong 🙂 I really wanna let them know that they are appreciated 🙂 especially ms ong. Actually I feel bad about leaving ms sim out… 😦 haiz…

But I shan’t end this on an unhappy note! Hahaha… it has been a great day so far. so relaxing 😀 but there’s this danger that I might perpetuate the holiday mood! Well, but since I know, I’ll take measures to avoid it. May the Lord grant me the physical and mental stamina to keep going, to fight until the finishing line! I shall use the time that He has given me, wisely. 🙂

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