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Archive for November, 2008

Perhaps it’s due to my friend’s constant longing for christmas.

Many times, when i close my eyes n hope to drift off to dreamland, i  begin to revel in the wonders of christmas & holidays. sweet dreams of the christmas in olden day Victorian era that one reads in English classics in which the little boys n girls bake gingerbread men while their granny n grandpa sip hot chocolate by the fire side. grandma sits in her antique rocking chair telling christmas tales to her grandchildren late into the night by the cosy n warm fire place.

Ah well, that’s just a fantasy extended beyond the English classics that i used to read in sec sch. For now, i’ve to lock it away in the recesses of my mind n focus!

advent is coming soon n so is christmas. it’s time to decorate the christmas tree! though there won’t be a santa filling one’s stockings with presents for christmas morning.

i wanna live in a beautiful countryside with lush greenery, tumbling down the hills of fresh green grass, running freely across a vast expanse of the green field, the cool autumn breeze against my flushed cheeks.

a picture tells a thousand words, so can a song –

– an abundance of words weaved into a beautiful song like this:

 

YOU SET ME FREE

Sandi Patty

Artist of My Soul (1997)

 

There’ve been times in my life you’ve opened doors

They weren’t what I was hoping for

So I walked right by them

I didn’t even try them

 

There were dreams I forgot and dreams I let die

Unnoticed sunsets in front of my eyes

I just couldn’t see them

I thought I didn’t need them

 

Sure, there are things I’d do diff’rent

And yet, grace gives me days where I simply forget

 

Cause you set me free to run through fields of laughter

And to sing as though I have no yesterdays

You set me free from my befores and afters

From a debt I know I’ll never pay

When you set me free

 

There’ve been chances to love that I’ve ignored

Mercies I’ve found I couldn’t afford

I’m sure I would’ve shown them

If I would’ve known then

 

How we all play a part in each other’s lives

And there’s more to the gain than winning the prize

So much I wanna try now

I feel that I could fly now

 

Sure, there are things I’d do diff’rent

And yet, grace gives me days where I simply forget

 

Cause you set me free to run through fields of laughter

And to sing as though I have no yesterdays

You set me free from my befores and afters

From a debt I know I’ll never pay

 

Father, you father me ever so patiently

You give me wings to fly

When you set me free

 

To fly, to soar to places I’ve not been before

The bound’ries of humanity cannot contain

What you set free

 

Cause you set me free to run through fields of laughter

And to sing as though I have no yesterdays

You set me free from my befores and afters

From a debt I know I’ll never pay

 

Father, you father me ever so patiently

You give me wings to fly

You give me wings to fly…

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mugger spirit

May the NJ Mugger in me resurrect! (very soon!)

May the NJ Mugger spirit burn brighter every day!

Awake, O mugger, within me!

Urgh i’m still so tired.

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no affinity for accounting

i think i’ll have to drop accounting. i can hardly understand what i’m reading and don’t even talk abt memorising it. my brain & accounting just can’t see eye to eye. There’s no harm in dropping accounting – i’ll just become a normal bizad student.

yet, another part of me refuses to do so, it’s like if i drop it, then i’m giving up.
and i dun want to give up. cos i wanna show it to myself that i’ve the perseverance & persistence & determination & the fighting spirit to go on.
the nights & days spent on accounting remind me of econs in jc. just kept failing despite putting in so much effort for it. i spend like 2 or even 3 days on ONE accounting tutorial & end up entire tutorial wrong!!!

why is it when pple sit thru the econs lect, i come out from the LT having a different set of concepts as the rest? (as in, for game theory) then of course my tutorial for Game theory was wrong too. some more i happily thought that the tutorial was quite easy to do (i.e. unaware of my basic fundamental conceptual error)
why ah? i can’t understand how my brain is wired. totally distorted.

This final exams is the last chance that i’ll give myself at accounting cos in subsequent years, the accounting will be of a higher level, i.e. i’ll drown in a deeper ocean. i want to persevere still. dogged determination. but not at the expense of my other modules!

i feel so stupid n idiotic.

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crap. feel like crap today. in perpetual slacking mode.

URGH!!! why do i not have such self-discipline!!!

wasting wasting wasting wasting wasting FOREVER wasting time!! why?!?!

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